I've Always Been a Trendsetter

Kate totally stole my wedding earrings.

The Royal Wedding, What What, Cheerio

I’m sorry, I can’t help it: I’m excited for the upcoming royal wedding between Bonny Prince Willy (I assume he would let me call him that if we were Facebook friends) and Skinny Kate.

I know it’s un-American to love royalty. We had a whole war about that and whatnot. But, honestly, is obsession with royalty really any worse than most Americans’ obsession with other celebrities? At least Bonny Prince Willy (BPW) has manners, I assume, unlike, say, the cast of Celebrity Apprentice, who just seem like an even more depressing version of that short-lived (thank god) show, “The Surreal World.” Remember that one? With Charo yelling at Jordan Knight, and that singer from Dead or Alive was on there, too? What a train wreck.

What I’m saying is, BPW seems like a much more put-together human being than anyone from the cast of Celebrity Apprentice, and he’s nicer to look at. And at least my enthusiasm for the royal wedding is mild, in that I have yet to purchase any Royal Wedding Souvenirs. Like this one. I shit you not.

Like most women in the world over the age of 6 months, I, too, was mildly disappointed that he announced his engagement to someone other than myself. Not that I had high hopes for ever becoming BPW’s intended; but, you know, as long as he was still single there was always that, “Maybe…” thought in the back of my mind. Now the best any of us can hope for is to become his future Camilla Parker-Bowles, and honestly, my hair is too good to be subjected to that.

You’d think that Prince Charles, of all people, could spring for Cami

(I assume she’d let me call her that if we were Facebook friends) to get

her own hairdresser, rather than giving her an old Farrah Fawcett

poster, a bottle of bleach, and a half-dead hair dryer and making

her do it herself

So, I won’t ever get to be Queen of England, and probably won’t ever get to be Queen or Princess or Duchess or even Lady of anything, ever, what with me being already married and such.

My own family comes from hardcore peasant stock, so I’m pretty sure there’s no royalty back there in the distant gene pool, although my brother Mr. Funny is convinced our great-grandmother is the lost Russian princess Anastasia Romanov. Despite the fact that I’ve explained to him numerous times that, a)our family comes from Ukraine, not Russia, and b)we’re Jewish, he insists that it’s all part of her cover story. Although our late great-grandmother (may she rot in Hell) was indeed mean enough, cruel enough, sneaky enough, and manipulative enough to have been the daughter of a Russian czar, I just don’t think she would have kept something like that to herself. More likely she would have constantly reminded us that she barely escaped the Red Army with her life and shouldn’t we be more grateful for her sacrifice, and be nicer to her for having had to watch her parents and siblings get gunned down? And then she would have turned her attention back to the Home Shopping Network, which she loved more than she loved her own family, and bought herself some cheap piece of crap that we’d then have to throw out when she finally died in 1996.

So I’m 99% certain there’s no royalty anywhere in my ancestry, but I have not given up hope entirely of someday getting to wear a crown and being invited to shoot pheasants with BPW at Balmoral. I once asked my husband where in line he is for the Spanish throne, and he answered with, “Just ahead of Gilligan.” (His brother, not the TV character.) That’s something!

Though, even though I’ve been called one my entire life, I’m not sure Europe is ready for their first Jewish American Princess.

The Grey Skies Re-Launch FAQ

Who are you, and why should I read your blog?

I’m Meredith. You should read my blog because I am teh awesome and you might learn a thing or two about life, love, movies, wine…and yourself.

Is this a “Mommy Blog?”

No. I am a mom, and this is my blog, but it’s about more than just the adorableness of my son. It’s also about my writing career, movies that I like, yoga I do, wine I drink, and people who annoy me.

Is that your natural hair color?

No.

What is your natural hair color?

I don’t really remember anymore, but I think it’s the same color my son has now.

What do you write, other than Grey Skies?

I do a budget wine review over at Moms Who Need Wine, quasi-keep up with a blog at The Huffington Post, and, like all good Park Slopers, I have a work-in-progress. It’s a historical urban fantasy novel currently being revised to within an inch of its life.

Why don’t you blog regularly at The Huffington Post anymore?

Long story short, let’s just say that I don’t get paid for those, and leave it at that.

What is Park Slope?

The neighborhood I call home. It’s part of Brooklyn, which is one of the five fine boroughs of the great city of New York. If Joey Ramone married some organic, locally grown granola and they had a baby, and that baby was a neighborhood, it would be Park Slope.

What else do I need to know to further my enjoyment of your wonderful blog?

Here are some of the supporting characters you’ll see around Grey Skies:

The Husband – my husband of 5 years, attorney extraordinaire, super hottie

The Juban Princeling – our 2 1/2-year old half-Cuban, half-Jewish son (and no, I did not make up the word "Juban")

Mr. Funny – my brother, government drone by day, hilarious stand-up comic by night

Daria – his wife, the Lois Lane of weekly local magazines, super-feminist

Gilligan – my brother-in-law, fellow writer, sailor, book snob

The Professor – his boo, currently a grad student out in teh Los Angeles

Ronnie – my friend in the nabe, former teacher, fellow mom in the trenches, and the most put-together person I know

NoLa – another neighborhood pal, fellow geek, impossibly creative, and possibly the retroactive inspiration for all of Tennessee Williams’ plays

The Hotties – a group of 7 women who’ve kept me sane for the past 5 years

Beatrix Potter – one of the Hotties, whose daughter is kind of my son’s boo

Jewtalian - my Jewish friend native of New Jersey, who moved to Italy to be with her Italian husband and raise a little Jewtalian baby

Ex-Pat - my friend native of Detroit, who married a Canuk and moved to Canada to be with him and raise a little McFrog baby

Tia - my BFF of 20+ years, still lives in Miami, math nerd

Mrs. Snape - my Harry Potter Wife

Patsy - my gay husband

Are any of those their real names?

No.

Will you discuss politics here?

Sometimes, when it’s something I feel is really important and not just fear-mongering hysteria.

So, what will you discuss?

Whatever I’m thinking Real Deep Thoughts about at the moment: movies, wine, yoga, Buddhism, cows, my kid, the writing process, New York, the Yankees…whatever. Hopefully I’ll do it with a dash of humor and some wit, and it will be entertaining. Stick around. I might actually say something clever.

Re-Launching Soon!

I know I've been a total slacker about my blog. My bad, I'm sorry. But I'll be re-launching soon, with the new name "Grey Skies." Stay tuned...